I have had THE worst calls of my life! Tangina talaga! Grrrrrrrrrrr! Long, stupid calls that I have no control over! Dammit! I hate the feeling of being helpless! And ironically, you see, I'm here to help! Aaaaaaaaaargh!

I have this friend whose name is PogPog.

I met him a while back but never really got to be close. Until the unfortunate incident. He's a really sweet guy. We became two peas in a pod. There was a time we were inseparable. He knows almost all my secrets. Well, secret passwords, that is. Even to this blog.

Ever since I've worked for the company I'm working for now, I've been obsessed with my blog because everyone around me is. Blog blog blog. It's all we ever do here. And so, I share this with my friend PogPog all the time. I always tell him to "gawa na u blog, so you will be coolness." but he never really cared for blogs, or anything that requires dedication and "gawa na u blog, so you will be coolness."responsibilty.

Until today.

I was talking to my friend PogPog earlier through YM and the conversation went something like this...

Pog: Ano gawa mo?
Moi: Nagpopost sa blog?
Pog: Nanaman? Ano ba yan? Patingin nga...
Moi: Punta ka http://blogger.com/ tapos gawa ka ng account mo.
Pog: Sige
(Long pause, I went back to creating my blog.)
Pog: Ano tong user ID and password?
Moi: Ikaw, kahit ano...
Pog: Ano sayo?
Moi: User ID = menasha password = ******** (he knows the password, like I said earlier)
(Long pause again...)
Moi: Ano, meron ka na?
Pog: Secret.

Ok, so he logged off because he had to go to school. Then I went out for my 15 min break then lo and behold when I came back, I saw this...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v40/menasha/dashboard.bmp

He created the blog using my account. And what's even funnier is he wrote in his blog that he didn't want me to know he had a blog. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh, my friend PogPog, how I love him...

If you want to check out his blog, I believe his URL is http://pogapog.blogspot.com/

Why is he...

"What are you doing here, Michael?"

Sam wasn't sure, but she knew that the disappointment was showing in her face. All day, receiving the roses whenever she went left her with this unexplicable anxiety. She couldn't focus on work, she just kept waiting, wondering, who the roses were all coming from. Of course, at one point she thought that perhaps the roses were coming from Michael. She admits, she even hoped that they were coming from Michael. But now that he was here, standing in front of her, she was suddenly wishing he was someone else. The sudden realization of how much she misses Tag. And the fact that he was getting married tomorrow, and she was his bestman.

"I wanted to talk to you, Sam."

Michael slowly walked towards her. Where is the rose? What is the whole sentence?

"Michael, did you..."

"Listen Sam," he was almost just a foot away from her, she could hear him breathing. Michael still had that warm feel in his eyes, like he just woke up and so energized and fresh. She realized that she waited for a long time to have him this close again. "I'm sorry Sam. I know I was unfair to you... For everything I did. I'm so sorry."

She knew he meant it.

"I never should've pushed you away," he said slowly reaching for Sam's elbows. "I was so stupid. I was so afraid of everything and blinded by my attraction for Carol that I didn't realize how important you are to me." Sam was paralyzed. "You were my bestfriend. And it was totally unfair what I did to you. "

"Oh Michael..."

"Please Sam," Michael sighed and shook Sam a little. Kind of like, trying to wake her up. "I think I'm in love with you." It was like a slice of ice going through Sam's heart. She has waited for this for a long time and ironically, now that it was here, she doesn't know if this is what she really wants. "Please, say something." Michael's eyes were almost pleading that she felt sorry for him.


"You're right."

"What?" Michael asked softly.

"It was unfair, what you did to me," Sam looked at his eyes and shook herself free from his grasp. Michael looked shocked at this notion. "And why now?" Anger was building up inside Sam. "Why after all this time do you suddenly realize all this. Do you know how many nights I waited for a phone call, message, or even email from you. Do you know how it feels like to know that you're waiting for nothing and still wait? Do you know how hard it is to fall asleep at night knowing you're just one floor below me? How hard it is to keep myself from knocking on your door and see how you were doing? It's been 6 months, Michael."

"I know," Michael interrupted. "That's why I'm making up for it now." He sighed. Sam could see defeat in eyes. "Don't you think I've suffered too? I wanted to come to you earlier. But I couldn't because you were always with that Tag Grossdale guy."

"Oh I see, " Sam exclaimed. "You see that I was happy and you couldn't bear that?"

"That's not how..."

"I've already moved on, Michael," Sam mellowed down. "I could only go too far."

"Sam please," Michael pleaded. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm already gone, Michael," Sam said with a shrug. "This is just a dream you will actually wake up from."

With that, Sam turned around and walked away. Michael looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself. She never thought she could do it. But she did. She was happy she did. She realized that she was wrong too. Michael wasn't her only source of happiness.


Too be continued...

There are so many questions that have always lingered in my mind but I never asked because people might think it's stupid or pa-cute. But now, I don't care anymore. I said before, no more masks, so here I am, unmasked. (Yuck! Ahehehe!)

1. Who is Romeo? And why must he die?
2. In the book Pride and Prejudice, why is Mr. Darcy the one with pride and Elizabeth Bennet prejudice when Elizabeth Bennet was the one who's proud because she totally shut off Mr. Darcy when she heard him speak ill of her during that party? Which brings me to my former point that Mr. Darcy should be prejudice because he spoke ill of Elizabeth Bennet even before he knew her.
3. What the hell is the real purpose of the MMDA? Do they clean the metro? Are they cops? If they are cops, then who are the PNP?
4. Who the hell is Jose Pidal?! (Pramis, diko talaga sha kilala!)
5. What is the use of Algebra? Seriously, back me up on this!
6. Why is there such a thing as courtship? It's either you like each other or you don't! It's as simple as that.
7. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
8. Why are there legal sized paper? Would you be arrested if you made illegal sized paper?!
9. The lady in National Bookstore said that the number 2 pencil is most popular. If that's the case, why is it number 2?
10. If human beings evolved from monkeys and apes, then why are there still monkys and apes? Were they slow ones in the bunch? And were they teased when everyone else were becoming cool and human? (Poor bastards!)
11. Why do ballerinas have to stand on their toes?
12. Who the hell put the letter S on the word liSp? Haven't they suffered enough?
13. If you expect the unexpected, then doesn't the unexpected become the expected? (Ano ba!)
14. What would happen to the world if there were no hypothetical situations?
15. Finally, why do we press teh remote control buttons harder when they batteries are dead? Does the act make the batteries alive again? Why? Why? Whhhhhhhhhhhy?

I'm so confused.

I am now in the process of reevaluating my life again. I have always had this vision of myself as basically good. I mean, even though I may not always do the right thing, I believe in my heart that above all, my best interests are always toward the greater good. But yesterday, after an incident with my mom, I got to thinking about myself and whether I am basically good. So I asked my sister, who I think knows me above all and would honestly tell me the truth. Well, she said whatI never thought she'd say.

I don't get it. I mean, I know that the only critique that should matter is myself, but maybe I'm blinded by my ego and self worth that I am failing to see my true self. Maybe, like a great play, I am also acting in this great tragedy that is my life. Now, I think I should stop. Drop the great act and be true to myself. Now I just need to figure out if I want to use my power for good instead of evil.

I mean, what are my real priorities in life? Reality check, I have all the power in my life right now. (I won't go through all the details right now. Hehe!) Now, I just have to use my power for good instead of evil. And prove to myself what I knew all along. That I am basically good.

I am!

Lupeeeeeeeeet...

Some of the pinaka-malupeeeeet lines I have ever heard in a movie, books, or those that run through my imagination...

Chloe's speech when Clark was sick and almost dying in Smallville...

Chloe: “I want to let you in on a secret. I’m not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I’m surprised you haven’t seen right through me. I’m the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. Sometimes I want to rip off this facade like I did at the Spring Formal, but I can’t because you’ll get scared and you’ll run away again. So I decided that it’s better to live with a lie than expose my true feelings. My dad told me there are two types of girls. The ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I really hope I’m the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I’ll let you go for now, hoping one day you’ll fly back to me because I think you’re worth the wait.”

Oh really now? He's worth the wait huh? Ahuhuhuhu!

I love Judith McNaught books. Especially how she puts the title at the very end of the book. Like, "then tell him this is ALMOST HEAVEN." Among all of her books, I really, really love ONCE and ALWAYS. And JM wrote that at the last part...

"Jason Fielding fell in love ONCE, but it would be for ALWAYS..

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw... devah!!

And from the movie The Princess Diaries.

Michael: Why me?
Princess Mia: Because you saw me when I was invisible.

Ano baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Grabe na ito!

From Smallville again; when this guy who was caught in this freakish fire came back to SV and had a thing with Chloe, he said...

"I found my way back for you."

Ano pa ba? Mental block! Mental block!

Sigh... I can't think of more right now. I'll check in again when I do.

See yah!

Ian walked inside his apartment thinking of how he would deal with Paige. Sandra was right. He was punishing her. But ironically, in turn was punishing him.

"Oh," Paige exclaimed, dropping the handle of her brown luggage. "I thought you were spending the night at your girlfriend's..."

Ian was confused. Seeing Paige with all her things ready to leave in the middle of the night, without saying goodbye to him was what he thought he wanted, but now it just made him angrier. He felt like she was deceiving him all over again.

"Paige, listen..."

"No, actually..." Paige slowly walked away from her things, still in her pink dress. Ian noticed how sad she looked. How much the glow was suddenly... gone. "I wanted to say something to you before I disappear from your life forever."

Hearing her say forever was like a punch in the gut.

"I know it was wrong," she sighed sadly, "everything I did to you. You were right... A highschool crush doesn't justify lying to you. And I understand if you don't forgive me." Tears slowly fell from her eyes. "It's just that..." She quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand, just like a little girl. It's ok to cry, Paige. You don't always have to to act so brave. I can be brave for you. "It was nice to pretend it was real, you know?"

Ian was numb. He knew his heart was telling his feet to walk up to her, embrace her and tell her he has forgiven her, but his brain was telling him otherwise.

"But let me tell you this," Paige said, "I loved you. I loved you so much that's why I allowed myself to be hurt this much." Tears began flowing down her cheeks again. "I was ready to go through everything again if it means being with you for the amount of time we had together..." She slowly shook her head. "But now I can't anymore."

Hearing those words, Ian felt like the 5 yards between him and Paige were growing farther every second.

"Little girls grow up too, right?" Paige said, trying to force a smile.

Ian didn't say anything. He couldn't. Right now as he was looking at her, all he could see was the same girl who woke her up everyday at 5:30 in the morning and made him breakfast... The same girl who painted the apartment with him. The same girl he made love to in his hole. She's the same girl. The same girl trying to be brave.

"Well anyway," Paige broke the silence, picking up her things. "I should get going..."

"Where are you gonna go," Ian interrupted like he's been waiting to say something the whole time. "You're apartment's not going to be ready to two weeks."

"I'm staying with Dawn and Marcus for the mean time," Paige said as she began to walk. When she and Ian were side side by side, she looked at his face for a moment, as if she was trying to memorize his face. Ian was doing the same. He had a feeling it was the last time Paige would ever look at him that way again.

"Paige, wait," Ian called out before she continued to walk out the door.

She looked back at him, almost longingly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be the one for you."

"So am I," Paige said softly, then turned carrying all her things and walked out of the apartment.

And out of Ian's life.