putting my heart back together

Why is he...

"What are you doing here, Michael?"

Sam wasn't sure, but she knew that the disappointment was showing in her face. All day, receiving the roses whenever she went left her with this unexplicable anxiety. She couldn't focus on work, she just kept waiting, wondering, who the roses were all coming from. Of course, at one point she thought that perhaps the roses were coming from Michael. She admits, she even hoped that they were coming from Michael. But now that he was here, standing in front of her, she was suddenly wishing he was someone else. The sudden realization of how much she misses Tag. And the fact that he was getting married tomorrow, and she was his bestman.

"I wanted to talk to you, Sam."

Michael slowly walked towards her. Where is the rose? What is the whole sentence?

"Michael, did you..."

"Listen Sam," he was almost just a foot away from her, she could hear him breathing. Michael still had that warm feel in his eyes, like he just woke up and so energized and fresh. She realized that she waited for a long time to have him this close again. "I'm sorry Sam. I know I was unfair to you... For everything I did. I'm so sorry."

She knew he meant it.

"I never should've pushed you away," he said slowly reaching for Sam's elbows. "I was so stupid. I was so afraid of everything and blinded by my attraction for Carol that I didn't realize how important you are to me." Sam was paralyzed. "You were my bestfriend. And it was totally unfair what I did to you. "

"Oh Michael..."

"Please Sam," Michael sighed and shook Sam a little. Kind of like, trying to wake her up. "I think I'm in love with you." It was like a slice of ice going through Sam's heart. She has waited for this for a long time and ironically, now that it was here, she doesn't know if this is what she really wants. "Please, say something." Michael's eyes were almost pleading that she felt sorry for him.

"You're right."

"What?" Michael asked softly.

"It was unfair, what you did to me," Sam looked at his eyes and shook herself free from his grasp. Michael looked shocked at this notion. "And why now?" Anger was building up inside Sam. "Why after all this time do you suddenly realize all this. Do you know how many nights I waited for a phone call, message, or even email from you. Do you know how it feels like to know that you're waiting for nothing and still wait? Do you know how hard it is to fall asleep at night knowing you're just one floor below me? How hard it is to keep myself from knocking on your door and see how you were doing? It's been 6 months, Michael."

"I know," Michael interrupted. "That's why I'm making up for it now." He sighed. Sam could see defeat in eyes. "Don't you think I've suffered too? I wanted to come to you earlier. But I couldn't because you were always with that Tag Grossdale guy."

"Oh I see, " Sam exclaimed. "You see that I was happy and you couldn't bear that?"

"That's not how..."

"I've already moved on, Michael," Sam mellowed down. "I could only go too far."

"Sam please," Michael pleaded. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm already gone, Michael," Sam said with a shrug. "This is just a dream you will actually wake up from."

With that, Sam turned around and walked away. Michael looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself. She never thought she could do it. But she did. She was happy she did. She realized that she was wrong too. Michael wasn't her only source of happiness.

Too be continued...