Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

Yun lang ang masasabi ko. Sobrang gulo ng isip ko. Taliwas na taliwas sa nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko na alam kung ano gagawin ko. Sabi nila, itigil na habang maaga pa. Bago pa magkaroon ng mas malaking gulo. Pero pano mo pipigilan ang sarili mo na gumawa ng isang bagay na nakasanayan mo na gawin?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Ang gulo. Ang hirap. Ayoko nang mag-isip. Nakakapagod.

...sabay adik na pala. Hahahaha.

And for that, after so much thought and many papilits from my ex-students, I did it. I watched their Legacy concert SWITCH! And I was so glad I did. Of course, I had many aversions as to why I didn't want to watch. Mainly because there were people in the school I didn't want to see... Ehem ehem! Mangati sana makikinis niyong mukha and magagandang buhok! Hahahaha! And there's also the sadness that comes with leaving the place. Alam niyo yun?! Parang napupunta ako sa school na yon gusto ko kumanta ng, "this used to be my playground... this used to be my childhood dream." Hahahahahaha! And also, ang mga detractors! Choss!!! Dume-detractors?! Haahahahahaha!

I came with my ever loyal friends, Duday, Dhanikay and Madz. Sobrang saya pa coz we came in for free. As in!!! Siyempre, face value! Hahahahahahah! Akala ng mga tao dun teacher parin ako... Eh teachers get in for free. And since they were with me... Huweeeeell... Hahaha!

The concert was great! Some of the bands that performed were Hale. Waaaah!

...I'm back.

Been meaning to blog again for quite some time now, but I just, I dunno... Found plenty of excuses. Hehe. First, I thought it would be too hard. I mean, leaving my old job... My officemates/good friends. I wrote this long ass goodbye post with a message for everyone. But I never go to publish it. It was too damn hard.

Then I started out this new job and a looooooot of things happened again and I just didn't feel like posting again. And lately, I've been thinking of ways to summarize everything that happened to me the past, wait EIGHT MONTHS! Huwaaaaaat?! Has it really been that long? And I have been looking for a new skin for my blog para naman come back with a bang! But haven't found a good enough skin din. Sigh...

Anyway, I had coffee with my friends last Saturday in Starbucks Marquinton and Karra d' Barra was there, and I told her all my "dilemma" about posting again and she said, "wag ka na mag-sulat ng mga nangyari sa past. Yun nalang sa mga nangyayari sayo ngayon." And for that, I think she's right. Why dwell on that past? Siguro lalabas din naman yong mga nangyari before ng pakonti-konti... Let's just put it this way... Yung EIGHT MONTHS na yon, will be like my dark months. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, it's sucks though that I have to start my comeback with a sad post. Well, the past few weeks I've been wanting to post some of my "happy thoughts", pero yun na nga... Katamaran nanaman... So eto. I have to start with this.

It's a bit dark outside.

I think it's gonna rain. And you know how I love the rain. The rain always makes me think about certain things... You know, thoughts that I would normally stir away from. Pero, siguro tama na. Reality check. Hindi ko na pwedeng takbuhan nalang ng takbuhan ang katotohanan. Because eventually, reality is gonna come biting me in the ass.

Okay, truth is... I'm feeling alone right now. And I know it's not fair, because I have my friends that I get to talk to all day everyday, any damn day. Pero ewan. Parang sometimes nahihiya ako or napipigilan na mag-open up. Siguro kasi feeling ko masyado nang maraming drama ang nararanasan ng mga taong mahal ko na ayoko nang maki-drama pa. They don't need that from me. I love being there for people. I love listening to them and giving them a piece of my mind when they ask... I mean, I even consider myself lucky that people trust me to share their lives with me. Pero minsan, naiisip ko lang...

Paano naman ako?...

I mean, hindi ako nagpapaka-KSP na humihingi ng atensyon like some people out there (hmmm... Bato bato sa langit ang tamaan mukhang pera at user!). Haha! Pero ewan ko, parang ang unfair lang talaga minsan! Waaaaaaaah! Ang pathetic talaga ng feeling, I know... Pero I wish that once in a while people could check up on me, for a change. Ask me how I was doing. I mean, really ask. Hindi lang yung para, masabi lang. Gets? Minsan kailangan ko din maglabas ng sama ng loob. Minsan meron ding mga bagay na nasa loob ko na hindi ko kayang dalhin mag-isa. Pero mahiyaan talaga ako... Hindi rin kasi ako mago-open up unless tanungin ako or unless alam ko na yung taong yon is really, really willing to listen, just like I am willing to listen... Always.

Ewan ko... Kasi I know I am an adult. And I should do the caring. Pero nami-miss ko na yung mga oras na ako naman yung inaalagaan... Ako naman yung baby. I miss my soccer friends. I miss the times na isang miscol ko lang nandiyan na sila Arf, Mark at Jeco, may dala dalang Andok's. Miss ko na ang date-day Wednesday ko with Wong and Den nung college. Miss ko na ang tambay sa Mini Stop with Jinggay, and mga traffic rides pauwi with Enrico from the office. Miss ko na mga nanonood ng movies every Friday night kahit walang magandang palabas with Pog.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

I'm not saying I don't love my life now. I do. I have great friends... Pero... I just miss how simple life was back then. And how I happy I was.

I'm sorry for the sobrang ma-dramang post. But it's really good to be back. Kasi I think nakalimutan ko na there's actually someone who is there to listen. Someone who will genuinely not forget important facts that I share about myself... You.