Nakapagtataka
by Jim Paredes

Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking pag-iisip
Mula nang tayo'y nagpasyang maghiwalay
Nagpaalam pagkat hindi tayo bagay
Nakapagtataka, oh.

Kung bakit ganito ang a-king kapalaran
Di ba't ilang ulit ka nang nagpaalam
At bawat paalam ay puno ng iyakan
Nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka

Hindi ka ba napapagod, o di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na ang mga luha, damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala nang maibubuga, wala na 'kong maramdaman.

Kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan
Oh, oh.

Walang tigil ang ulan at nasaan ka, araw
Napano na'ng pag-ibig sa isa't isa
Wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa
Nakapagtataka, saan ka napunta?

Hindi ka ba napapagod, o di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na ang mga luha, damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala nang maibubuga, wala na 'kong maramdaman.

Kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan
Oh, oh.


This song has been playing a lot in my mind lately. Hehe. For some reason, you seem to like this song. Well, we had yet another one of our classic fights. Sometimes I feel you getting tired of this, maybe even giving up easily... I don't blame you. It gets a little tedious at times. There are moments where we wish we could just go to sleep and act like nothing happened in the morning.

But actually...

I don't mind the fights. Hehe. Okay, I know the fighting and the crying and the pain in the heart sucks, but the making up after the fight... Man, those are the good times for me. It's like starting with a clean slate, you and I. Only, we know better and we're a little wiser. Hehe. I mean, you're right. The fighting about the same thing over and over gets a little old eventually, but I don't think we do that all the time. Hehe. I try as much as I can to end the fight (as in really end) right there and then so that we don't have another fight about it again. Hehe. But if I slip once in a while, I am sorry.

I am sorry for all the fights in the past... For all the stuff I pulled... For all the cheap shots... For being a brat... For being overly sensitive... For being psycho at times... And for all the things that I didn't even know I did that hurt you and made mad. And I'm sorry too for all the future fights that we're going to have. Hehe, coz I know we'll have them.

And lastly, I don't believe this song. This song reminds me of you, but just because you always sing this. Hahaha! I would never get tired of you. Of us. I would never question our love, just like this song. And the fights, hehe, I don't mind them... Eh kung palagi ba naman akong may chocolate cake with "Peace?" written on it eh. Hahahaha! Joke lang... +.

Hmmmm... Just some updates...

About a month ago, I started working for this company. I hated the job. I totally didn't fit in. But I thought it was a good opportunity. The thing though, it was the work I hated. The work I left a year ago. But... You gotta start somewhere, right? And the pay was not bad... Not bad at all. (Wink wink!)

So anyway, I got sick on the last days of training... Call it a sign, or an omen or what not, but the point is, I had to leave. I miss my old officemates. I miss my buddy Pao... But it wasn't as emotionally distressing as my previous jobs. I mean, we were only together for about a month, so I wasn't really as emotionally attached to them as the PS peeps whom I was with for about a year, and the AA peeps whom I was with for about 15 years. Hehehehe.

It was a really humbling experience. I learned to be responsible and value every little thing because they were like that. I remember the best part of my day was walking from Ate DR's office in Jupiter Street to my office in Tordesillas Street along Buendia Ave. I love Makati. Walking that not so long distance makes me appreciate the little things about working and working in Makati for that matter... I got to appreciate the people who are working day in and day out for their families, you know, working for someone else aside from yourself. I got to appreciate the people commuting everyday. I even wanted learn how to commute myself. I incessantly ask Ate DR how to commute from the house to Makati. Hehe. I think, since Ate DR and I drive to work almost everyday except on our restdays, we've gone closer. We talked about our plans in the future, what we want to happen to our lives and all that serious stuff.

See, I had a plan again. I had goals. And one good thing about ACS was it was able to get me back to my old "plan-control-freak" self.

But like I said, I had to leave the company... And I was in the "looking-for-a-job" phase... But, almost like it had been a part of this master plan or grand design of God, my good friend Enrico Cachero told me that there was an opening for a job that I would kill for...

Note: I realized that I can't imagine myself working without talking. Hehe!

So right now, I am just waiting for a few minor things before I can really, really get the job offer... But I think, it's pretty much in the bag. :)

So I bid farewell to Makati... To taking calls... To paying for parking... And say hello to bigger and better things...

Reality Check:
Family: All is good and everyone is healthy, happy and accounted for. ;)
Friends: All is good and everyone is healthy, happy and accounted for. ;)
Career: Hmmm... Question mark pa...
Love: All is good, still in love, healthy, happy and accounted for. ;)

So in other words, I'm just waiting for this job nalang talaga... Ehem, ehem God... Help me please!